When it all came down, where was Arashi Twelve-Voices, the silk-voiced diplomat, the rogue, seducer, defuser of a thousand crises, scourge of the criminal element, cocktail-dressed terror of the art world?
Where was Stun-Gun Johnny, the hard-drinking PI with a heart of gold? Some guys called his office, but he wasn't picking up. When they tried going round the whole place was dark. The glass in the door was smashed. There was nothing of value left behind.
Where was the Universal Warrior, who bestrides time and space with ease? He can be anywhere, any place, any time. If he'd wanted, he could have been there, but he wasn't. Perhaps he thought we could handle it. He's not the smartest of guys. Still, he must have been in the future, seen the consequences...
Where was Doctor Adroit? He was on TV only a couple of days before, demonstrating a machine that turned the garbage thrown out by an ordinary family in a week into four reams of high-quality paper, a handful of semi-precious stones and a small plastic cube. The Doc said the green cube could generate enough power to light a street for a month. Then it exploded. We sure could have used something like that.
Where was the true-hearted, upstanding president? Where was the cub reporter with a quick mind and a thirst for investigation? Where was the irascible old priest who could explain, justify all the things that happened in terms of God's benevolent will? Where was the plucky, hard-working cop, the guy with a limited respect for rules and regulations, the guy who'd gainsay his superiors and kick some ass to save us all?
Where were you?