Some qualities most find undesirable in a lover:

- has a body composed of living flame

- is excessively pedantic

- has clawed organs of generation

- exudes a distasteful odour halfway between burning plastic and rotting fish

- displays an unwillingness to understand or practice reciprocity

- is employed as an enforcer by an unscrupulous dictator

- BSOH

- is self-absorbed to the point where you feel that even when you're kissing them you hardly impact on their world at all

- is obsessed with someone else

- regularly meets your annoyance with the kind of long-suffering self-effacement that hurts far worse than contradiction

- enjoys the one kind of music that sets your teeth on edge

- is able to do the thing you most wish you could do but can't with contemptuous ease

- represses an increasingly active hatred of you and everything you hold dear

- is unable to transcend a past you can never touch

- died a long time ago